21 Jun 1932
Benjamin Griffin to son John Griffin / Ogden, Utah
Mrs. Israelson came in the store yesterday and said Dorothy had bought her ticket to Washington instead of California just as I expected her to do. You see I didn't miss it very far. She is surely one girl in a thousand, I think we could safely say one in a million. It surely shows her determination and to what extent she will go to accomplish the thing she has in her mind to do. If her efforts can always be for the right, there is no limit to her possibilities. I think it has demonstrated very completely to you that there is absolutely no use to argue or cross her in what she wants to do. I think there is no question about her love for you and there is surely no question about your love for her and from that standpoint you should get along very fine, but that many times is only a small part of what it takes to make a happy home.
A wife is a precious gift from God and you have got to be very, very careful with her if you hope to keep her as you would the most valuable of gifts. The old addage that a wife is given to man for a help mate is often misinterpreted. A help mate (serves) to make him better than he would be without her but not to share the burdens of finances and life. We probably will never know just why she said the things to mother she did but we have to try to forget them as best we can. You know often the brightest and loveliest days follow the darkest storm and we surely hope this will be your lot. If only you will be gentle with her and by loving kindness try to train her to see as you see and do as you do in the things that are right and pleasing. Not that she doesn't do things that are right but that she will want to go Church more (and) do the works that means [sic] for future happiness.The Griffins and Smiths were to give her and you a set of silverware, which I guess you will now not get.
After her talk with mother, we (all except me) thought it was surely off for good and the silver was taken back to Lewis's and the money returned to the ones who contributed, telling them that the wedding had been called off. They now will be surprised to learn of the new turn in affairs. But we have to live and take things as they come. We do hope Dorothy is doing this on her own wishes and not because her mother has urged it and that when will prove by her acts that what she told mother will not be true. This new adventure means added responsibility for you and it is up to you to see that things go along smoothly and that results are accomplished that are desired, but don't give up. As a father also I should say that woman is not given to man as a wife, just to satisfy his passions and the greatest consideration should be given her in this regard. If you love her as you evidently do, make her welfare always the first consideration. Now John we sincerely hope that the happiness in marriage will be so great that the troubles of the past ten days will vanish as a mere nothing - that the experiences will be of great value and worth in the future. Write of often.
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